


probably why it feels just like

by somehowunbroken



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Friendship, Kneeling, M/M, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 10:12:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18776182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somehowunbroken/pseuds/somehowunbroken
Summary: Colin's a little too wound up after they get home from San Jose after Game Five. He's not sure why until Josty shows up, and then it all clicks.





	probably why it feels just like

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lotts (LottieAnna)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LottieAnna/gifts).



> LOTTSATHAN CARTERJAMIN CHARLIEOTHY happy BIRTHDAY i LOVE YOU MUCHLY
> 
> -title is from barenaked ladies' "[falling for the first time](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibsxpihjKmE)," which is a great song.

Game five was exhausting, the plane ride was exhausting, and now Colin's at home, trying to convince himself that he's actually as exhausted as he should be, given those two things. He's not, though, and he isn't sure why until he hears someone knocking at his door.

"Hey," Josty says, barging in as soon as Colin opens it up. "Hey, I know it's late, but—"

"Hey, no, it's fine," Colin replies, and something in him settles as Josty shifts from foot to foot in front of him. "You okay?"

"I know it's late," Josty says again, "but I, uh. I can't get out of my head, man, how I scored and it wasn't enough to—"

"Yeah, okay," Colin cuts in gently. Josty's hands aren't trembling, but Colin's known him for long enough to know that it's only because he's really focusing on keeping himself together. He's kind of needy, but it's endearing, and Colin's never gonna say no to giving him what he needs.

Josty slumps a little, like panic was the only thing keeping him fully upright. "Thanks."

"C'mon," Colin says. He takes a step towards Josty, reaching out to put a hand on his back to gently guide him towards the living room.

It's kind of an unusual arrangement, but they both know it and it works for them, so mostly Colin just rolls his eyes when the other guys rib them. Yeah, okay, most guys who have some sort of kneeling arrangement have sex, too, but it's not like that for them and it doesn't have to be. It means that Josty waits by the sofa while Colin gets the cushion they picked out together, and he sinks to his knees on it immediately when Colin sits down.

Josty sighs as he leans his forehead on Colin's leg. "Hi," he mumbles.

"Hi," Colin says softly. "You want to talk or listen or relax?"

"I don't know," Josty says, and that's always been an acceptable answer here between them. Part of the reason they work is because Colin doesn't need Josty to be able to make his own decisions, even if he's always going to offer them to him.

"Okay," Colin says. He shifts so he can reach out for Josty's hand, holding it against his chest so Josty can feel the rise and fall of it. "Relax, Tyson. Just breathe with me."

Josty nods, head moving roughly against Colin's pants. "'kay."

Colin keeps Josty's hand pressed against his chest as he counts his breaths, timing them evenly in and out. His other hand goes into Josty's hair, gently untangling the mess of curls that dried while trapped beneath a beanie on a plane. Josty stays on his knees, head on Colin's thigh as he breathes, and Colin can see the tension draining out of his shoulders the same way he feels his own over-alertness fizzling out as he combs through Josty's hair.

It goes both ways, is a thing guys who aren't super dynamic don't understand. Yeah, Josty calms down when he's kneeling, lets Colin help him center his thoughts and un-spiral the mess his brain makes, but the trust Josty gives him, the way he lets Colin take charge and guide him and help him through this, it settles something in Colin, too. None of this is a one-way street, and Colin thinks that there are, at most, maybe four other guys on the team who get it, and it's because they're actually pretty dynamic, too.

"Hey," he says, long enough later that Josty's hand is flat against Colin's chest, fingers loose and warm instead of pressed tightly together. "Check in with me, Tyson."

"I'm good," Josty says without picking his head up. His voice is quiet, a little sleepy, but he sounds way calmer than he had when he'd arrived. "How're you?"

"Good," Colin says, pushing his fingers through Josty's hair. "I feel a lot better. Thank you."

Josty laughs a little. "Thank _you_ ," he says. "I know this is an anytime sort of thing, but this was still a hell of a time."

"You played really well tonight," Colin says, still combing through Josty's hair. "It was a great goal, and you'll have more. You'll help us win games, because you've got that kind of talent."

"You too," Josty says, turning his head a little so he's can look up at Colin with one eye. "Everyone who says we don't have any secondary scoring can go eat a lemon, that's what I think."

"The poor lemons," Colin says lightly, because he knows it'll make Josty smile.

Sure enough, Josty's face crinkles up as he laughs. "They deserve better," he agrees, finally sitting back. He presses his palm harder against Colin's chest, and Colin thinks he can feel his heartbeat reflected back at him for a second before Josty pulls back. "I know you don't mind if I crash here, but I'm gonna ask if it's okay anyway."

"It is," Colin says. "Was that you actually asking me, or…"

"Colin Wilson, will you do me the great honour of letting me stay the night in your lovely home?" Josty asks, somehow managing to keep his tone serious even as he grins up at Colin.

"The honour would be all mine, I think," Colin says. He's smiling as he stands, the exhaustion he'd been searching for finally settling into his bones. He offers Josty a hand up off the floor. "C'mon. I still have those sweats you left here last time."

"You'd better," Josty says as he pulls himself up. "You didn't give them back to me, so either you still have them or you threw them out, and that would be super rude."

"Rude like leaving your pants here and expecting me to wash them?" Colin asks mildly, heading down the hallway to his room.

Josty laughs. "It's not like you had to dry clean them," he says. "They're sweats. You never even would have realised they weren't yours if they didn't have my number on them."

"Nah, the ass isn't stretched out that much in mine," Colin says, pushing his bedroom door open as Josty laughs again. It's good, a light sound, and one that Colin's always glad to have in his apartment. "I'm ready to crash. How about you?"

"Give me clothes and give me bed," Josty says, and Colin's not sure what it says about both of them that Josty knows where Colin put his sweats, clean and folded like he makes sure they are as soon as Josty leaves. "You still want the left side of the bed?"

"Twenty-nine years and counting," Colin confirms as he changes. "Spare toothbrush is—"

"In the medicine cabinet, I know," Josty says, ducking into the bathroom.

They finish getting ready for bed in silence, and it's nice, easy, the way it is when two people are comfortable around each other. Just because everything between them is platonic doesn't mean that Colin doesn't love Josty fiercely, and he knows Josty's the same way about him. It makes it easy for them to get ready for bed together, to climb beneath the sheets and fit themselves together like pieces from two different jigsaw puzzles, slightly mismatched to an outside observer but fitting together perfectly despite that.

He's glad, Colin decides as Josty curls up into him, letting Colin drape an arm over his shoulder, because whatever else is going on, whatever else is happening, at least they have this: enough trust in each other to unwind and let go, and enough friendship to settle into it together afterwards.

No matter what, they've got this.

**Author's Note:**

> <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
> 
> (also: everyone who says they don't have any secondary scoring!!!!! can go eat a lemon!! that's just what I think!!!)


End file.
